Why My Hair Dont Grow No More
- Ayaan: "When you're dead I'll move into this house"
- Ummm....dude, you're FIVE and you LIVE in this house!
It’s true.
Had something delivered. By the time I set it up, my hobo kids had already set up a camp in the box. Even taped their taekwando medals as door handles.
There are two types of parents: those who at one point or another have really fought the urge to do some serious spanking and those who lie about having the urge to spank.
Do control the urge, spanking doesn’t work, but don’t feel guilty for thinking about it
Trying to maintain a clean house with a couple of kids is like trying to fight a full-grown Hippo with toothpicks. Not only you can’t win, you cannot even imagine it in your wildest dreams. Stressing over it will only accelerate your hair loss (exhibit A: you cannot see it but I am pointing at my head).
- "Ouch"
- "What happened"
- "I accidentally bit my pinky toe"
- "How?????"
Kids and I were singing “O’ Canada”. We stopped and Ayaan kept singing: “O, Candyland”. The boy has his priorities straight.
- Safiya: "Why is your shirt wet?"
- Hamza: "I was washing my armpits"
- Safiya: "With soap?"
- Hamza: "Yes"
- Safiya, nodding in approval: "Good"
- .
- Umm ...
Found this guy spiderman-ing around the hallway. What the heck?
- Back in 2010 our family computer mouse had been missing. I spent an insane amount of time looking for it and finally found it under the kitchen refrigerator. Obviously, I put it back near the computer keyboard. A few hours later:
- Ayaan: “I found it”
- Me: “What did you find?”
- Ayaan: “I found the computer mouse”
- Me: “No you didn’t, I found it”
- Ayaan: “Me and you both found it”
- Me: “I found it under the fridge”
- Ayaan: "And I found it”
- Me: "Where did you find it?”
- Ayaan: "I found it right here” (he points at the mouse next to the keyboard)
- Me: "I put it there”
- Ayaan: "And I put it here”
- Me: “Where was it before?”
- Ayaan: "It was right here (points at half an inch away from the mouse) and I put it here (points at the mouse). So I found it too"
- I don’t think that’s really what “finding” is
- Ayaan: "I found the mouse"
- Uh, but I thought we both found it. Uh forget it I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, he has a prosperous future in politics.
- Me: “For the love of everything cute and cuddly, why are you off bed again?”
- Hamza: “I am scared”
- Me: “Okay, you can sleep with your lights on”
- Hamza: “I am not scared of monsters, they are not real”
- Me: “Then what are you afraid of”
- Hamza: “I am afraid of what’s going to happen if an asteroid hits the Earth when I am sleeping”
- Me: "Hamza, that's just...just ... just ... uh ... oh shoot! Should've built a bomb shelter in the basement. Argh, now I wont be able to sleep all night"
- Ayaan comes to the basement, picks up a hammer and hits himself on the head.
- .
- Me: “Why did you do that”
- Ayaan, rubbing his head: “I was trying to fix myself”
- .
- Awww, poor baby!
