I only drank 5/6th of a cup. That is, like, a third of the cup, exactly.– Safiya Hamid
Lessons from Prometheus, sequel of Starship...
Starship Troopers and Armageddon have a sequel. It’s called Prometheus. Here’s the deal, in a nutshell. An android takes a tiny pencil-dot size alien goo from the alien planet, puts it in a cocktail to give to a man. The man sleeps with a woman. The woman, the very next day, gives birth to an alien octopus (this is what alien-goo-in-a-cocktail does to men, it instantly turns their...
Found your phone
Ayaan (age 5) with his hand inside [i]my[/i] pocket: hey, I found your phone
Me: Err, it wasn't lost
Ayaan: It was to me. And now I found it.
So we are walking in a mall when Ayaan sees a couple and yells off the top of his lungs: “Look, Pakistanis”. Thanks Ayaan.
You can marry the garbage man
Safiya (age 10): Ayaan, don't be stupid
Ayaan (age 5): You call me stupid??? Go timeout!
Ayaan: In the Garage!
Safiya: How long?
Ayaan: Stay in the garage. Don't come out. Not even when you get married. Not even when you have kids!
Safiya: But how will I get married if I live in the garage and never come out
Ayaan: You can marry the garbage man
Safiya points at the cat.
Safiya: “Oh wait, I can’t point at proper nouns. Sorry”
Hamza: “What’s a proper noun”
Safiya: “Uh, like, for example … you are a proper noun”
Hamza yells out in a highly offended voice: “She is calling me a proper noun”
Back in 2010, 6 year old and 3 year old were fighting with a sword. 3 year old yelled out: “Wait, pause, Dark Gator (Darth Vader) has to go peepee.” That’s Nature: 1; Vader: 0.
Not Cool →
Disney is the Most Magical Place on Earth →
Sleep Time Struggle →
The Bad Guy Who Came To Our House And Put Water... →
She looks like a boy!
Ayaan (age 5), looking at the Justin Bieber poster: "Wow, she looks like a boy!"
Me: Ayaan, he is a boy
Ayaan: Oh. Then he looks like a girl